how to woo girls

15 July, 2006

So I’m hit #5 for “woo girls” on Google, partly because of searches like that in the title. (Sorry I couldn’t be of service, dude.) Even when I posted about another Adams-Morgan nightlife classification it all went back to woo girls, both in my post and in the comments. Well, they are sparkly. And louder. So it makes sense.

Some great stuff got mentioned in those comments I thought I’d bring to your attention.


It seems that woo girls have been described at least twice before (hits #3 and #4), most notably by Derf. Many thanks to KCinDC of DC’s Drinking Liberally for the link. In science we call this being scooped, but a) I’m honored to have been scooped by such an esteemed figure and b) his description is generalized, and mine is more detailed. For one, I explain the yakking girl that he illustrates. Perhaps we should collaborate.

You must, must read this description of woo girl culture, written by an actual woo girl. It explains the why of the woo. It’s eye-opening. It’s hilarious. Reader Alex is hired for bringing it to our attention.

Lastly, it was discovered last night that a little woo girl resides in all of us. Got a group together to visit H st NE and the Palace of Wonders. Fun was had by all, and the relative uncrowdedness of the place was nice, but it is not quite worth the cab ride yet I don’t think. On our way back to the A-M area, three of us stopped for a fish “sandwich” at the Horace & Dickie’s, which IS worth the trek. Dr. “Cranky Sunshine” Birdcage had been struck, when in the neighborhood last month, at the reputation of the place among the local children she was running educational programs for. If you have not heard of it (I hadn’t), you will. The setting makes makes Ben’s Chili Bowl look like Les Halles…and the fish makes BCB look like Cosi. It will explode on the hipster scene now that H street is the new destination as it is perfect drunk food and the grittiness of the place really gives you that “look at me, I’m slumming it” feeling that is so key to the H st NE corridor at the moment. I ran into Sommer, the new DCist editor, at PoW, so it may be only a matter of time until we see a review…

Hey, I was talking about my inner woo girl. Stop distracting me. Yes, a woo escaped my lips last night. A passing car — driving at speed — saw us eating our “sandwich” on the sidewalk in front of the bar. Passenger shouted out the window at us, “FISHEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!” Ha! Yes! Fishez! This fish is so good! I was compelled to respond, to reach out to this anonymous urbanite and acknowledge the fried flesh that unites us. But how? I had no time to think of words, the car was at the corner already. And what words are there, really? “Yes I agree, this fish ‘sandwich’ is excellent!”? So. WOOO!

It was brief, but unmistakable. My companions, thankfully, understood. “I’m a woo girl for this fish sandwich,” I said. They nodded. Maybe they also would have been. Maybe I was simply the only person who didn’t have delicious fish in my mouth at the moment. (Re the car: I suppose they could have been saying “BITCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!” but that doesn’t make nearly as much sense. I mean, Dr. B and I are luscious babes and all, and have been known to attract passenger-side attention of this sort. But “bitchez” is not the usual thing yelled, comments tend to be more complimentary, or at least anatomy-specific. No, it was the fish, people. It could induce anyone to yell out a car window.)

I was going to show you why I keep putting “sandwich” in quotes but I just realized that this sandwich went unphotographed. !!! How could that be! Much like when Dr. C.S. Birdcage’s fish sauce bottle broke outside Toledo Lounge in front of a half-dozen photographers, and not a one of us documented the tragedy.

The bar itself was documented. It was one of those fun flickrite nights where shutters were very much a-snap. I look forward to the shots. About mine, let me just say that animated people are hard to photograph, and my ol’ “stick the camera over your head and shoot blind and work it all out in postprocessing” trick is a lot more complicated with a fisheye.
Girl of Illusions


4 Responses to “how to woo girls”

  1. Dr. Birdcage Says:

    Goddamnit, I am not approving of this cranky sunshine thing. And, furthermore, free shots! Woo!

  2. Alex Says:

    I’m pleased to know I’ve been hired. When can I come in for salary negotiations?

    Googling “woo girls” was fascinating, especially since it lead to the Wikihow “how to woo girls” article, some of which made sense (“Show interest and show her that you would like to get to know her,” “Don’t stalk girls. They will start to avoid you”) some of which read like teenage boys trying to convince each other they were experts on the topic. The adjoining “how to sweep a girl off her feet” is even more interesting.

  3. techne Says:

    yeah Dr., I was gonna leave it to you to blog about your woo girl threshold….

  4. KCinDC Says:

    I’d think one important tip on how to woo girls would be not to use the word “woo”. Are these people somehow accessing Google from another century?

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