12 September, 2006
I always feel the anniversary by the day of the week, not the date, so mine is still to come; Tuesday morning. My memorial has a few parts:
— I reread an account I wrote the week after, of my experience of that week, which I wrote with the mind to have as pure as possible a record of what I was actually thinking and feeling that wasn’t tainted by everything that’d happen since. (I also bought up every magazine I could find, to go with the account.) Every year I’m glad I did this, but I also wonder what I remember because I keep rereading it every year, and which bits of my response I’ve forgotten.
— If I have time, I reread this (and if I don’t, I tell other people to read it). It’s the only satisfactory answer ever found for one of my burning questions about the attacks: If the goal was terror and demoralization, why only 9/11? Why wasn’t the fall of 2001 FULL of al-Qaeda attacks? It would have worked so damn well! Anyway, yeah, this lays it out. It’s long and not simple but worthwhile things never are, are they?
— I also reread this, which I wrote on the first anniversary. I always wondered what to do with it. It’s not right for an article, but too outward-oriented to keep entirely to myself, yet too meaty to send in email. I posted it off my homepage and shyly sent the link around to a person or two each year. Shoulda known that technology would catch up with it: it was a blog post before there were blogs…
PS: I found this line in my personal account. I was not at all active in photography at this time (not even a p&s). Ha!
I wish I was two people, one with a camera,
because a lone figure in black crying and walking against a majestic urban
background full of people would make a hell of a picture. Then I wonder
if these are appropriate thoughts.