we now return me to normal life

THE PAPER IS IN!

Free advice: Never ever use Word’s “track changes” feature.  In fact, if you can avoid Word altogether, that’d be best.

I may get LASIK. I had an appointment this morning. It turns out I gots me some thick corneas and some good insurance, both of which make me an excellent candidate. And they have an 18-month interest-free payment plan.  Which is sweet.

Had a lot of fun joshing with the technician who kept shining lights and dripping drops into my eyes. (Apparently I am a blinky person, but I control it well.)  He reminded me of an interesting thing about myopia: EVERYONE thinks theirs is the absolute worst. I knew this because once while offhandedly referring to mine as the absolute worst, my eye doc got a funny look on his face and flipped down some fuzzifying lenses that make it far far worse and said “Everyone thinks that, but they’re wrong.  Look, this is my wife’s prescription.”  It was -16/-20, mine are -3/-5.  So at one point when discussing my candidacy the tech is all “and your eyes aren’t that bad” and I sort of hmm’d agreement, and he was really relieved. “Some people get SO UPSET when I tell them that! ‘Yes they are! *strangle*!’ ”

We also discussed the Valium I’d be taking if I go under the, er, laser.  Never taken Valium.  “DON’T drive home, get a friend” he said. I noncommittally “mmm”. He looks at me. “No Metro either! You got that resourceful look in your eye, I know those eyes by now.  You’ll be all on there so relaxed, who knows what’ll happen.  Gt someone to take you home.” “The right person,” I say.  “Exactly!”

This particular office/surgeon did Tiger Wood’s eyes.  Just ask ’em.  They’ll tell you ALL ABOUT IT.  (His eyes were around -10).   I mean, that’s great, that’s some expensive eyes, and God knows if I get it there I’ll be sure to tell everyone that alla time also, but sheesh.